Changing the Dynamics of Adult-Youth Interaction

Firdavs thinks I can’t see his mouth moving. I’ve asked him and the other teachers not to tell the youth at our theater camp in Tajikistan what to say, and to let the campers create scenes and dialogue on their own. The group is having fun, rehearsing their skit to make the characters’ movements as big as possible. But Firdavs keeps whispering under his hand, feeding them lines. What would these young people be saying if he wasn’t there putting words in their mouths?

Learning to let go is one of the biggest challenges adults face in creating positive spaces where youth can freely share their ideas. In any culture, there are a lot of reasons we may be nervous about giving up control. Young people might bring up topics adults don’t want them to talk about, like sex or drugs. A teacher’s job may be riding on a polished performance for important guests. Or adults might be genuinely worried about less confident youth—we don’t want to see them fail, exposed on stage without a plan. But if we can’t trust 15- and 16-year-olds to script a skit by themselves, how can we expect them to make their own decisions in life?

When girls like Farzona and Dilya throw their arms around me, I’m struck by how tiny they are – but they’re already facing adult responsibilities and adult problems. Our youth campers were born in the mid-1990s, during Tajikistan’s civil war. Many of them supplement their families’ incomes or care for grandparents and younger siblings while their parents work. And then there are the would-be participants who aren’t here – girls whose marriages were arranged just prior to the camp, and a boy who migrated to Russia in search of work.

Not surprisingly, when they’re given the floor, the campers have a lot to talk about. This summer they’ve come up with fantastic plays that examine real community issues – stories of domestic violence, ethnic discrimination, and obstacles to education. It’s been a big journey for Firdavs and some of the other adults, who were educated in rigid Soviet schools, to stand back and watch. There’ve also been moments where I had to remind myself to withhold judgment, coach less and let the discussions flow. Changing the way we interact with youth isn’t always easy – but once we start to really listen, we may be amazed by what we hear.

Susie Armitage is a Program Officer at IREX